


In The Wash

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Gen, M/M, Oral Sex, Tumblr Prompts, one brief explicit line, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 01:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3710545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based on a tumblr user hoping for a story about Robert having one last night with the dirty sheets he and Aaron had been on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Wash

Robert was grateful for the pungency of laundry detergent as he stuffed the sheets into the washer. It woke him up. He hadn’t slept well. He knew he had many reasons for sleepless nights, but the emptiness of that big bed had been the main culprit. Each time he’d tossed or turned, he’d expected to bump up against Aaron, kiss his fuzzy neck, wrap an arm around him, listen to him breathe.

It hadn’t been a full week - he’d washed sometime on Wednesday, although that had mostly been so he could sit Aaron on top of the washer, feel the hair on Aaron’s thighs vibrating against his face as he sucked him off - but it had been long enough. He’d been an idiot to cut it this close. 

If you asked him what Aaron smelled like, he’d probably say, “Hair gel, sweat, beer, and fresh blood,” but he didn’t even really know. All he knew was how empty he felt when he couldn’t smell Aaron, or taste him, or see him, or, most of all, touch him.

He’d smelled the sheets, the nasty, dirty, sweat-and-come-soaked sheets, one last time before putting them in. Like a pervert, or a lovesick loser. He’d smelled them so he could say goodbye.

Home Farm wasn’t a place for happiness. No one he’d ever known had enjoyed the estate experience. They’d lost, and suffered, and died, or had driven away with melodramatic looks in the rearview mirror. 

He hadn’t moved into Home Farm to be happy. He’d loved Chrissie, still did, but it was the money and power he’d craved. He’d never been allowed to be happy. He’d given up on it. Happiness was a delusion, a weakness, an excuse for going nowhere in life. Without Dad, Mum, without…Katie, he’d been able to focus on what had mattered most.

And here he was now, under more pressure than ever to keep focused…sniffing dirty linens.

Cliche as it was, Home Farm had never felt like a  _home_  to him before those stolen nights with Aaron. It likely never would again.

The sacred/stained sheets had clung to his lower half tighter with each memory of  the way Aaron had looked at him that afternoon - the cold disgust. Robert should have hated Aaron for hurting him that way, for looking at him the way everyone who was supposed to have loved him had always looked at him, but instead he’d only felt shame. Shame and need. 

He’d wanted to run after Aaron, explain, ask forgiveness. He’d only stopped himself at the sight of his wedding ring - too tight on him, taunting him, reminding him of what he’d given up and would have to keep giving up..

Everything came out in the wash - another cliche, but one Robert knew all too well. He knew even one slipup could unravel one lie, then another, then another. He had to keep away from Aaron rather than set him off…he’d lose everything. Chrissie, the money, his family. Worst of all, he knew he’d lose Aaron for good.

He thought of that  _Doctor Who_  story where Ace got so fed up of lies and deceptions that she stripped off and ran into the ocean. 

Of course, the lies weren’t of her own making, but the moment stuck in his mind after he put the sheets in the dryer and made his way upstairs, water just cool enough to shake him up, clothes on the bathroom floor.

Resting his head against the shower wall, he could hear Aaron, spitting at him, hissing,  _“You think it’ll ever wash off? What you did?”_

“It has to,” he muttered, tears mingling with the spray down the drain. 

There were no other options.

By the time he got out and dried top to tail, the sheets were ready, happy family on their way back.

He smelled the clean sheet just as he heard the footsteps inside.

It wasn’t the same.

It would never be the same again.


End file.
